Estonia 1998: The Fat Lady Sings
From the archives: It turns out that I was blogging long before anyone had ever heard the term “blog.” Twenty years ago I was an exchange student in Estonia. While studying at the University of Tartu, I created an online travelogue to keep my family and friends apprised of my experiences. Both my life and the nation of Estonia have changed a lot the two decades since. This reprise is providing me with a glimpse at who I was back then and the excuse to learn more about more recent developments in my temporary home, even if some of the opinions that I expressed back then may make me a little bit uncomfortable today. It is interesting to see how people grow and change.
May 25-31, 1998
This was my last week of studenthood in Tartu. The classes and exams of the University of Tartu are, at last or too soon (I’m still not sure), over for me. From now on, my time in Estonia will be as a tourist or visitor. I am done studying and am now preparing for the final journeys and experiences that will soon come before I return to the United States a little over a month hence. I cannot believe how fast my time in Tartu has gone by. I loved every moment of it and tried to savor every bit that I could, but the end of the school year for me has put the official stamp on the fact that it is soon to be but a memory.
26 May 1998
Tuesday
I’m feeling very virtuous at the moment because I just spent the last six hours or so updating my homepage and getting a little bit of the format ironed out. Apparently the format that I have been using thus far is incompatible with the ancient browser style used by America Online. Up till now I have been using only my fairly new Netscape 3.0 browser to test my homepage layouts and just taking for granted that what it looked like on my computer is what it would look like on everyone else’s.
Obviously that was wrong, some pages were completely unreadable when viewed on AOL’s system. I haven’t updated all the old journal entries, and probably won’t (it’s interesting to look back and see how my layout skills have developed and improved), but all new entries since April 1st have been modified, as has the journal mainpage and the index. I’ll improve the others as fast as I can, but the most important thing is that I now realize the problem and can make steps to fix it.
This morning we had our last Estonian language class with Tiina, it went well and I got a five (A) in the class. I feel comfortable with what I learned and am happy that everything worked out as well as it did. I also finished my British sports class, with another five. Now there is only one more class, and two more exams and then I am completely finished for this semester. Absolutely incredible. Is this really possible?
27 May 1998
Wednesday
Today I spent most of the day updating my homepage and did some research for a planned Iowa Cycling homepage which is to come to fruition once I arrive back in the United States. I found some good information and think that this page will eventually turn out to be quite nice.
In the evening we took Tiina to dinner at Pusiohukelder to thank her for all that she has done for us over the year. We had a good time, in spite of the abysmal service at the restaurant. It took us an hour to order, an hour to get our appetizers and another hour to get our food. Absolutely horrible, but they earned every bit of the three crown tip that we left. We finished off with our typical Illegaard evening. A good night, even with the bad service at the restaurant.
28 May 1998
Thursday
Today I finished up my life as a student here in Tartu. I took my exam for International Human Rights. It didn’t go too bad, but there are some questions that I really have my doubts on. It will be interesting to see how they turn out. In the evening we had our last British Film course, we ended by watching the comedy Yes, Prime Minister. It was extremely enjoyable, and it was nice to see someone making some fun at the United States’ expense as well. All in a good tone and good clean fun.
30 May 1998
Saturday
Sometimes I just have these incredible feelings of clearness as to what it is I am doing and who I am to be in the world. These moments can come at some of the strangest times, and there really is no explaination for any of it. The sum total is that I am a world traveler. I am a servant of the Lord and in his service will travel the world attempting to live by his word and making a difference in this world.
I may or may not always do this in the pulpit. I like to think that I have made a difference in the lives of the people I associate with. I know that in at least two cases my experiences have changed people, and I know that I have been changed by them. That is the point of this whole service, it is not a one way street. I help them and they help me. I am just so happy to have this opportunity.
I love the world in which I am living. It is such a complex thing, so large but yet so small at the same time. I want to see all that I can. To experience life in countries all around the world, to meet people and go places that I could only imagine while living in my small world in America. Whenever I see a film, read a book or enjoy a television program from another country I am just filled with joy. Not simply because of the chance for vicarious travel, but for the reflection of the universality of human nature. I see in these art forms the expression of the unity of humanity. All too often we look at the differences in people rather than seeing the fact that we are all basically the same underneath it all. We are, when we come right down to it, all just people. All living together on one world created by God and dedicated to love. We often forget that fact but the truth is the message still remains, just waiting for the next generation of travelers, wanders and seekers to find the true joy of life. The world is so wonderful.
Yesterday was a pretty calm day in the morning because I spent the better part of it on the computers doing research for the Iowa Cycling Page I’m working on. In the evening I went with Sue and her friend Katie to the new Irish pub for the Eurofaculty year end party. It was a good time and I think that pub is going to take off very well once it opens for real, it is rather pricey for Tartu though.
Later I went to Rogier’s place for a party where I met up with the German crowd and went to Krooks to finish off the night. Silke and Herle left early but I stayed out with Christopher and an Estonian friend of his until 6:00 A.M. watching the sun rise and talking about football. A long day sleeping today was the result.
Once I finally did wake up I went downtown and watched a part of the criterium portion of the bicycle rally in Tartu this weekend. It was okay, but as I didn’t know anyone racing and hadn’t seen it from the start it was a little hard to follow what was going on.
31 May 1998
Sunday
A very eventful day today. I met Silke and Herle for lunch this morning before going to the community ecumenical Pentecost service. The service was held in the bombed out ruins of Jaani Kirik (St. John’s Church). It is incredible to not only see all of those different congregations together (when they say ecumenical, they mean it, there were bands and choirs from the Baptist churches and priests from both the Catholic and Orthodox churches along with the Lutheran and Methodists that one would usually expect) it was also very rewarding to have the service in the midst of all the reconstruction and repair. We met and celebrated the service sat on makeshift wooden benches while overhead were scaffoldings reaching all the way to the ceiling.
It was the very workmanlike atmosphere which I thought was an especially appropriate symbol of the church in Estonia, a work in progress, a former great destroyed by history but slowly being returned to its previous place. It’s not there yet but, like the church building today, great steps have been made.
After the service we went to the Tamme stadium to witness the finish of the bicycle race. We had a picnic while some of the remaining stragglers (i.e. where I would have been had I participated) rolled in. We got to see Christopher and Diemo, although they had actually finished their races a couple of hours earlier they were still hanging around and waiting for the medals to be prepared. It seems like a lot of fun for everyone and it inspired us to try for a bike ride somewhere on Wednesday. We’re not sure exactly how it will work out, but it should be a good time.
I really wish that I was back home at the moment, I would love to be on a bike and riding. I’m so tired of just reading about it and dreaming. I should have bought one a long time ago and the time has come for me to actually do it. I keep kicking myself, I didn’t take advantage of the opportunity that I had last fall with the Pugeot and as a result have lost forever about seven months of Estonian riding opportunities that I will never have again. I am not going to repeat that experience. Once I get to Iowa City I am going to get myself onto two wheels. I can’t gain back the past chances I missed, but I’m sure as hell not going to miss anymore.
I love geography. I just sat for the last two hours reading National Geographic magazine and staring at maps. Maps are one of the most beautiful forms of literature in the world. Just seeing the way that creation has been formed, dreaming of all the places to go, remembering the places that one has been, imagining all of the adventures that lay ahead, that is joy. Traveling is adventure, exploration and freedom. Maps are a tool in that process. It is through them that we learn where it is we want to go and what the world holds in store for us.
The adventurers of yesteryear have left us a world that is completely mapped, at least in the basic geophysical and political terms that apply to everyday people, so in a manner of speaking there is no more “unknown”, making exploration a thing of the past. However, there is still a world out there that is completely unknown and unexplored. Exploration is not necessarily being the first person to set foot on a distant mountaintop or charting foreign coasts. Exploration is the process of gaining a clearer picture of the world around us. It is seeing things for ourselves and adding those experiences to our personal map of the world and people around us.
In the end, everything comes down to place, no relationship can be described accurately without reference to spatial orientation. Geography is, for me, the most basic science and the one that I love the most. It’s a lot more than memorizing countries and capitals.
