Blogtober Writing Challenge: Trivial
When the trivial is no longer trivial
Since returning from deployment, I have experienced ongoing emotional difficulties. It has been an interesting and difficult journey. Every day seems to be a little bit different. Some are good, some merely tolerable, others are utterly overwhelming.
One of the weirdest parts of living through a season of mental health challenges is the way trivial matters are often elevated to outsized proportions. A combination of poor sleep, accumulated stress, and bouts of anxiety sometimes make even minor inconveniences totally paralyzing.
This comes in many forms. It might be the loss of keys, an unexpected change of schedule, or a well-intentioned surprise interrupting my routine. It does not happen all the time, but when it does, it is utterly frustrating and somewhat embarrassing.
Grown adults should not be overwhelmed by these kinds of things, but in my dark moments the trivial is no longer trivial.
When those moments come, I feel totally out of control and can start to panic until I am able to calm myself down through a combination of breathing, emotional redirection, and reaching out to my support network. Fortunately, I am blessed with a good counselor, an understanding employer, and a loving family.
For all of that, I am SOFNGR8FL.
Panic attacks don’t make any rational sense, especially when the presenting cause is seemingly trivial and insignificant, but that is the way trauma works. Trivial things are no longer trivial. Not everyone has the support network I take for granted, and for them I ask for your prayers and understanding.
